Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
