theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
