I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize