I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
