Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
