Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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