I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
