guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
