Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
