no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
