ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
