It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
