i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
