I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
