your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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