why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You are a genius and a whore.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
