In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
