return my video game
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're not piercing ourselves today.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
