I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Rumble strips road head = magical
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
