I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
