I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
