Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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