i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
