remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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