Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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