i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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