We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
