Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
