She is in my trunk
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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