So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
