new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
