We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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