I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
