what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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