Your face is a jimmy john
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
