and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
