as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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