If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
