I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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