so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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