Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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