I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
