I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
