Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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