I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
