so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
