Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
