Whoa Z and x make the same sound
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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