Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
