If i come over, it means nothing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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