can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
