I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need to get me chipped asap
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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