Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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