Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
