And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
