you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My life is pants optional.
I forget how to act sober
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
