I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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