Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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