I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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